I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
