Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jiveturkey007 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

Did we have sex last night?

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

Fav 16 975 6557
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

Fav 92 7753 2284
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.

Fav 25 5107 1740
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

Fav 6 3636 1287
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?

Fav 11 4166 1917
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?

Fav 7 4569 1595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

Fav 17 6120 1649
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In which case my work here is done.

Fav 0 269 166
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911

Fav 0 39 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT