dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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