dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
