how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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