oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
