So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just googled if crying burns calories
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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