I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize