Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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