If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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