No stitches, just platelets and will power
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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