Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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