People with herpes should wear stickers.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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