the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
