hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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