I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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