I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
kristin has been a bad kristin
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
