So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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