god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
