You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Actions speak louder than pants.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
