Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
