you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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