if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
