If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
