I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize