3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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