If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
