im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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