True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize