party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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