belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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