Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're like the curious george of whores
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
