Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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