Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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