I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
