I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
