I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
