Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
