Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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