Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize