I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want her autograph on my taint
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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