I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
