Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
