So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
