i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
