After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
