Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
