There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
