Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
