Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
