nut hugger
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
