Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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