I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize