My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
