He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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