Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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