He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
