We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
