Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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