I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
